Daughter Redeemed

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Growing up, I had a good relationship with my parents. Honoring and obeying them came relatively easy. But when I hit adulthood, things got complicated.

Their divorce during my first year of marriage brought up wounds I didn’t know existed. I felt shame and anger. Honoring them became hard. For the first time, I struggled in my role as their daughter.

Thankfully, around that time, I started attending a church that helped me see how the the good news of Jesus Christ wasn’t just for my initial salvation, but for my everyday life. It could (and would!) even change the way I viewed myself as both a daughter of my Heavenly Father and of my earthly parents.

Maybe you, too, struggle in your role as a grown child. Friend, there is hope. God has adopted you, Christian, into his family and changed your name to his. “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God,” John writes, “and so we are” (1 John 3:1).

God’s Word says that because we are redeemed sons and daughters of God, our roles as sons and daughters of man can also be redeemed. In particular, these five truths about what Christ has redeemed us from and to have freed me from deadly patterns of sin and led me into life-giving patterns of grace and godliness. You and I may have very different experiences, but I pray that God will use these truths to encourage, convict, and challenge your soul.

1. Christ has redeemed you from blaming your parents for your sin.

In today’s culture, we tend to blame our parents for our sin. Blaming them can make us feel better about ourselves — as though our poor choices aren’t entirely our fault. It is far easier for the cheating wife to blame her affair on her parents’ infidelity rather than her own selfish lust. Or for the domineering husband to blame his biting words on his abusive upbringing rather than his own anger and pride.

Make no mistake, God’s heart grieves for children who have grown up in these tragic circumstances, and he will rightly judge each and every parent for their sins (2 Corinthians 5:10).

Even so, we do not have the right to blame our parents for our sin.

The Bible is clear: “Each one shall be put to death for his own sin” (Deuteronomy 24:16, emphasis added). Thankfully, our Savior has already been put to death for the sins of fathers and children alike. And, if we confess our sins to him, he will be faithful to forgive (1 John 1:9).

2. Christ has redeemed you from shame over your parents’ sin.

Have you ever felt ashamed of your family’s history or reputation? Just as Jesus Christ frees us from blaming our parents, he also releases us from shame over their sins.

Shame can be God’s grace to us when we are caught in our own sin (2 Thessalonians 3:14), but we misplace our shame when we start to feel guilty over the sins of others. God does not look at you and see the sins of your parents, dear one. He looks at you and sees the righteousness of his son (2 Corinthians 5:21).

3. Christ has redeemed you from the fear of failing in your parents’ footsteps.

When my parents’ marriage crumbled, I became fearful for my own marriage, wondering if we were destined to walk down the same road.

But my dear husband was quick to remind me that I am a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). God himself made us one flesh (Genesis 2:24), and as long as we hold fast to Christ and each other, we have nothing to fear (2 Timothy 1:7).

While we may be more prone to certain sins because of our upbringings, we are not without help to fight them or hope to conquer them. For,

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence. (2 Peter 1:3)

If and when we do sin, however, God is not vindictively awaiting our failures. He stands with his arms open wide, ready to pour out his love and grace in abundance towards his repentant children.

4. Christ has redeemed you to forgive your parents.

Parents may be some of the most difficult people to forgive. After all, we expect our parents to nurture and protect us, not cause us pain.

As followers of Jesus, however, we are called to forgive our parents as Christ forgave us — freely and without limit (Ephesians 4:32).

Remember, biblical forgiveness does not excuse sin. On the contrary, forgiving your parents means releasing any bitterness you harbor towards them by confessing it to Jesus. It means releasing any pain they have caused you by entrusting that pain to Jesus. For he has paid for your sins, and carried your sorrows (Isaiah 53:4). He will mercifully carry your heavy burdens and graciously exchange them for a lighter load (Matthew 11:28-30).

5. Christ has redeemed you to honor your parents.

“Honor your father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2). It’s the fifth commandment and one of the first we teach our small children, yet we seem to forget that it applies to us grown-ups as well.

This command doesn’t come with an expiration date, but it does come with a promise: “that it might go well with you” (Ephesians 6:3).

Here’s the million-dollar question, though: how do we honor parents who have caused us undue pain? Quite simply: As Jesus did.

“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). In his great mercy and love, he honored the dishonorable by making us alive with Christ, raising us up with him, and seating us with him in the heavenly places, despite our sinful state (Ephesians 2:4-6).

When we choose to honor our parents, we reflect our merciful Savior. We endeavor to honor them because of Christ, for Christ, and through Christ alone.

Children of God

In his perfect plan, God chose a family just for you (Ephesians 3:15). For some, the parent-child relationship offers precious glimpses of our Heavenly Father’s love. For others, it makes the heart long for the day when we will be reunited with him in glory.

Whichever category you fall into, remember that you are first and foremost a child of God. It is our identity as God’s children — fully forgiven, free from blame, no longer condemned, honored and deeply loved, wholly pleasing to him — that will enable us to be godly children of man.

©Unlocking the Bible by Chelsea Stanley. Used with permission. Original post at unlockingthebible.org.

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A few months ago I asked some of you dear readers to share whether or not you struggle to encourage your loved ones. 3 out of 4 of you said that it’s a daily struggle, and several of you shared that it’s frustrating because these are the people you’re supposed to love the MOST!

I feel you, ladies.

That’s why I asked my friend Charisse Compton if she’d share on this topic as part of our interview series with real-life daughters redeemed. Charisse and I share a church family, a love for writing (check out her blog here), and a heart for women. I have long admired how she encourages her own family in the Lord, and I’m so glad she agreed to do this interview because her words are GOLD, friends. Her love for God and his word shine through, and each answer is a nugget of wisdom you’ll want to store up in the bank of your heart so that it can yield eternal dividends.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I’m a thirty-something Christian woman who fills lots of roles including: pastor’s wife, stay-at-home mom, writer, teacher, daughter, sister, and friend. Besides my love for my family–husband Jared and three kids ages 11,9 and 7– I love hanging out with friends over good food and good coffee.

I’m also a bit of an Anglophile (a lover of all things English). Brit Lit is the best. I re-read Pride and Prejudice every year. And nothing beats Paradise Lost. I once acted as the shrew in a kids’ version of Taming of the Shrew. And I’m learning to love Premier League soccer. Man City is my current fav, except I really, really like Harry Kane and the Tottenham Spurs.

Before we delve into this topic, can you please give us a working definition of biblical encouragement? How is biblical encouragement different from worldly encouragement?

In our English Bibles, the word translated “encourage” can also be translated “exhort.” So, while worldly encouragement looks mostly like building another’s self-esteem and helping them think positively (and that’s not all bad), Biblical encouragement is using God’s truth to equip people to live faithful lives. Sometimes this looks like exhortation– recalling them and correcting them with the truth. Other times, this looks more like our traditional understanding of encouragement–putting courage in their hearts by reminding them of the truth of who they are in Jesus and how that new identity gives them everything they need in this life while they wait for the perfect, eternal one to come.

Why is it so important for women to encourage their loved ones?

Because we know them best and love them the most! Though we can’t see their hearts and know them perfectly as God does (I Samuel 16:7), we can get a pretty good idea of what’s in their hearts by how they speak and act (Luke 6:45). Since we hear and watch them more than anybody else, and since we love them, we are the most qualified to lovingly help them apply God’s truth to their lives.

What are some steps we can take to grow in the area of encouragement?

1. Let God encourage you.

Bible reading, meditation, and prayer shape our minds with truth and cleanse them from the pernicious lies of the world and the the Evil One who controls it. (I John 5:19). This is self-care at its best, and it makes encouraging others possible. Only a tree planted and nourished by the rivers of life can offer its fruit for food and its leaves for healing (Ezekiel 47:12).

2. Seek out encouraging friendships.

Hebrews 3:13 urgently reminds us to encourage one another daily. We need others to help us onto God just as others need us.

3. Learn to be more observant of your loved ones.

This takes discipline and mindfulness. Put away whatever is monopolizing your mental energy (yes, silence those phones and close those social media apps!), and be more conscious of how you’re using your time. Structure your days, weeks, months, and years so that you have opportunities to listen to, observe, meditate on and really come to know those people living in your home.

When our firstborn was just a few months old, he let out a terribly disturbing cry in the middle of the night. I shot out of bed with a cry of my own and said, “That means he spit up and it came out his nose!” Even in his delirium, my husband looked at me like I was crazy and mumbled something like, “That’s pretty specific.” But you know what? I was
exactly right. It wasn’t for nothing that I had spent hours observing, listening to, and thinking about my baby. I had even learned to distinguish between his cries so that I recognized his needs. Now this mindfulness comes pretty naturally to a first time mom, but it is a mindfulness we should strive to have toward all our loved ones at every phase
of their lives.

Another facet to this intentional observation is learning to ask good questions. As Proverbs 20:5 reminds us, a woman of understanding will draw out the deep waters in the hearts of those she loves.

Here are some questions I like to ask:

• What are you thinking about?
• Why did you say that?
• What are you afraid of?
• What makes you happy?
• Do you think that was a wise choice?
• What could you have said/done?
• What are you feeling?
• Why are you sad/angry/happy?

And with children especially…

• What are your friends like?
• What are you reading?
• What are you playing?

Kids like to know that you’re interested in their lives. Often before you can get to the questions that draw out their hearts, you need to listen well to the comparatively “childish” stuff.

4. Pray for your loved ones.

Little else we do for them can have so great an effect (James 5:16). Also, when you are begging God to do good for someone, your heart can hardly remain untouched. The more you pray for someone, the more your heart is drawn to love them, and the more you love them, the greater good you will do them.

5. Speak!

For our loved ones to be encouraged by the truth, they actually have to be
exposed to the truth. Faith first comes from hearing the Word of Christ (Romans 10:17). If faith was born through the truths of Scripture then it is also nourished and sustained there. Our loved ones may be able to read the truth for themselves, but they need our reinforcing voices to help them know how to apply it to their lives.

What are some habits or disciplines you have put into place to help you encourage your own family?

1. Arranging my days

When my kids were little (but after they started sleeping through the night), I established the habit of waking up early and getting ready before they woke. If they beat me up, I would feel behind and frazzled the entire day. I needed quiet time with Lord and the calm of putting things in order before I was ready to face those physically draining days.

A change I’ve made to my daily routine since all my kids began school is to prep dinner while everyone is gone so that I can be mentally and physically available when they get home. As varied as our situations can be, we can all rearrange our days so that we can more fully engage with our loved ones. They will see our availability as love, and when they are confident of our love (i.e. they both know it intellectually and feel it emotionally) the opportunities to encourage abound.

2. Establishing family rhythms

Family rhythms establish an atmosphere where encouragement is the norm rather than the exception. We’ve established many family traditions and routines that foster family unity and generally cultivate a bond of affection between us. These routines can be really small like our Monday night breakfast dinners, or they can be more significant like our annual Clearwater Beach vacations.

We have an annual review of sorts around the New Year when we encourage the kids to set some goals. We generally sit with them and talk about areas where we’ve seen growth and areas needing more focus. We always encourage a Bible-reading goal, and then we stock their libraries with Christian books at their various levels. Sometimes I will even do individual Bible studies with my children or memorize a portion of Scripture with them.

My husband and I also schedule one-on-one time both as a couple and with the kids. Jared and I breakfast out once a week. Each child has an annual birthday breakfast outing with Daddy and an annual lunch and back-to-school shopping outing with me. On top of that, once the kids turn eight, we allow them to have one night a week where they stay up late with both of us.

On a more regular basis, we pray with our kids each morning before sending them off to school and each night before bed. We also regularly meet as a family on Sunday nights to discuss what we learned in church and to do a Bible study of our own as a family.

3. Noticing God at work

Another habit I’ve formed over the years is to write an annual birthday letter for each of my children (and occasionally for my husband). Writing these letters is a chance for me to intentionally focus on the good, rather than harping on the bad. I specifically set aside time to think about each child, scrolling through pictures from the last year and considering how he or she has grown and matured. I recall areas of personal victory and even areas of unique struggles. As my mind zeroes in on each child, I begin to recognize God’s transforming work in their lives.

So far, this exercise has been far more encouraging to me than to my children, but I trust that in time they will come to understand my heart for them as they see how I pray for them when I’m alone on my knees and how my heart yearns for their good.

4. Training in love and grace

Over the last year, my husband and I have learned not to overwhelm (discourage) our children with too many expectations and rules. We now focus on the one command God specifically directs toward children: to honor and obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1-2). Of course this is easier for children to do if their parents behave honorably (spoiler alert: we don’t
always), so we labor to make their jobs as temptation-free as possible. We’ve also set up a reward and consequence system based on this command.

Our kids attend public schools. The current trend in public education is to build confidence and self-esteem with positive reinforcement. This is not all bad, but I do find that kids– at least my kids– are very eager to believe the absolute best about themselves. We have to gently counter a growing self-righteousness (You’re such a great kid!) with what Scripture teaches about human nature apart from God. We also have to remind them that everything they have (good minds, athleticism, musical abilities, attractive personalities, etc) are good gifts from the Lord that are meant for their enjoyment but are also designed to reveal the giver’s character. God is good, and he delights in doing good! So we encourage our children to enjoy these gifts, but in a way that draws their eyes upward in gratitude and love for God rather than drawing their eyes inward in pride and self-congratulation.

What are some things that might keep us from encouraging others well?

Unchecked sin will prevent us from encouraging others. All sin at its root is unbelief– a refusal to believe and accept God’s truth. If we stop believing the truth, we will also stop speaking it.

But there are lots of other things that can trip us up as well: exhaustion, a full calendar, responsibilities, sickness, financial strain, all manner of trials and difficulties. These things can tempt us to an inward focus where we’re so occupied thinking about ourselves that we don’t notice others– even the ones sharing our beds and eating at our tables.

A quick word to moms of little ones…mothering–especially in the early years–is so relentlessly physical. We had a bird family settle into a birdhouse that we could clearly see from our kitchen window last summer. We all watched them obsessively. That mama bird spent all her time and energy flying around gathering food for her greedy little chicks. The moment she flew back home, those chicks snatched the food right out of her mouth and she was off again. I found myself feeling pity for her and recalling the early days of parenting. Why do they have to eat so often?! They don’t even see how hard I’m working for them. But that mama bird was faithfully discharging her duties, reminding me to be ungrudgingly faithful in mine. Be encouraged that God can use our faithfulness in the daily labor of caring for our children’s physical needs to open their ears and hearts to us when we tend to their spiritual needs.

What do you do when it’s hard to encourage your loved ones? When it doesn’t feel like there’s anything to praise?

I always begin by praying more for them. Prayer is not only good for them, but for me as well. It changes my heart disposition. I take all my cynicism, hurt, anger, frustration, and confusion to the Lord. He isn’t overwhelmed in the least by my unsorted and raw feelings. His Spirit can use the words of Scripture and his very presence in my life to instruct my feelings with truth and to comfort me with his love.

Sometimes I pray on the spot with my children (infinitely preferable to yelling or scolding!), asking the Lord for wisdom to respond in a way that pleases him and for God to bring my child to a place of repentance where they’ll experience his forgiveness, reconciliation and joy.

When I’m feeling less than affectionate toward my kids, I always try to check in on them after they’ve fallen asleep at night–you know, when they’re at their sweetest! Seeing their sleeping faces usually restores my waning affection, and I whisper a quiet prayer of thanksgiving for these eternal souls entrusted to my care. And then I beg God for the
wisdom he promises to liberally dispense when we ask.

If I can’t praise their behavior and growth, I make sure to affirm them with physical affection and verbal assurances of my love.

Who has been an encouragement to you in your own walk with Jesus?

Too many to mention! What a treasure the body of Christ is!

Many have encouraged me from afar as I’ve observed their faithfulness. Others have taken a specific interest in me over the years. But besides my parents and my husband’s parents, I have to mention one of my dearest friends, Erica. Erica is a fellow pastor’s wife who walked the long arduous road of seminary training with me and is now the recipient of many long vox messages (we’re both anti phone-talkers–another reason we’re kindred spirits) sharing my frustrations in parenting, ministry, and daily life. She is a great blend of listening, believing the best, and encouraging with truth. I leave every conversation with her loving my family and ministry a little bit more and feeling refreshed to keep being faithful. I wish everyone had a friend like Erica!

My husband and I daily draw encouragement from each other as well. Our life together is measured out in coffee cups and long conversations around the fireplace where we listen and uphold each other with truth. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude to God for the good gift he gave me in marriage and how he has used my marriage to do me much spiritual good.

Thanks for sharing, Charisse! May we all encourage our loved ones with God’s truth so that they might live faithful lives unto him.

If you’d like to read more from Charisse, don’t forget to check out her blog!

 

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Photo credit: Nicole Hacker Photography

I had the great joy of writing this poetic drama for the Ladies’ Christmas Brunch at our church . The theme of the morning was “Chosen and Redeemed.” The piece is entitled “A Lineage of Grace,” and it tells the stories of four unlikely women who have a part in Jesus’s lineage: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Mary.

---

Tamar: The Forgotten One

My husband was wicked,
so horribly so,
that God struck him dead,
leaving me all alone.

According to the customs
and laws of the Jews,
his brother should take me,
but instead, he abused

And refused
to give me a child to call mine,
no son to continue
the family line.

When Judah, his father,
learned of his sin,
he assured me he’d make
things right once again.

He promised another
son of his own
to take on the duty
in time when he’d grown.

I waited and waited
for what he said he would do,
but with another promise broken,
I knew I was through.

Through with the lies,
through with the pain,
through with the waiting,
through with the games.

So I acted a whore
and covered my face,
for I knew that Judah
loved the thrill of the chase.

He approached me
and offered a deal for the task.
I asked for his ring and his cord
and his staff.

You see, I became pregnant
after the deed,
and these objects would prove
that the son was his seed.

Or sons, I should say,
for there was not one, but two.
I finally had
the sons I was due.

Looking back on my story,
I’m ashamed of my plans,
for taking the matter
Into my hands.

Desperate, I did
some things I regret,
but God, in his mercy,
did not forget

His daughter.

For from one of those seeds,
came redemption from sin.
Now Jesus, the Savior,
is one of my kin.

---

Rahab: The Harlot

I, too, sold my body
to men for a price.
I considered my sin
a necessary vice.

So I wasn’t surprised
when two men came at night,
but instead of “the usual”
they asked if I might

Help them.
You see, they were Israelite spies.
Their leader had sent them
to town in disguise.

The King found out
and sent troops to my door.
He had heard they were hiding
in the house of the whore.

But I had heard of their God
and fear melted my heart.
I knew he was real,
and I couldn’t take part

In helping the king
to kill these two spies,
so I told them they’d left
and misled them with lies.

In the meantime, the men
were on top of my roof,
so I asked for assurance
of safety, for proof

That my family would be spared
when they seized our land,
that none of my own
would die at their hand.

A life for a life,
they gave me their pledge
and a cord
to hang out my window ledge.

This cord of scarlet
indeed kept us alive.
They came in and conquered,
but my family survived.

And what’s more,
they took us in as their own,
not leaving us to face
a new world all alone.

As for me, I was rescued
in more ways than one.
God graciously gave me
a husband and son.

Once called the “harlot,”
I have a new name.
Daughter of God,
forgiven, no shame.

From my line, God would send
one more scarlet red cord–
the man you call Jesus,
the man I call “Lord.”

---

Mothers of Jesus: Chosen and Redeemed

Forgotten.
A prostitute.
Widow.
Redeemed.

None worthy of choosing,
yet now, we’re esteemed
as mothers of Jesus,
the Great High King.

We were chosen,
redeemed,
now Christ’s praises
we sing!

---

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For a few years now, I have dreamed of doing a series of interviews with real-life daughters redeemed. Today, that dream is coming true!

I knew I wanted this first interview to be a special one, so I asked my dear sister in Christ, Jasmine (aka “Jaz”), to share with us on the topic of loving our neighbors. Jasmine and I met years ago through mutual friends and got to know each other a little better when she started attending CrossWay Community Church in Bristol, Wisconsin. When CrossWay planted a church in the nearby city of Kenosha, she and her family jumped right in!

Jaz blogs about their neighborhood ministry at Mama J’s Jabberings, and I have been so very encouraged to watch God work through her family. I’ve told her on numerous occasions that I think she needs to write a book, but for now, let’s all soak in the wisdom and encouragement she has for us in this Real-Life Daughter Redeemed interview. Seriously, friends. This is a treasure trove of gospel goodness.

Tell our readers a little about yourself.

I’m just your average girl who was far from God but was brought near by the blood of Jesus. I love my husband, kids, coffee, and teaching Kindermusik.

I grew up in Kenosha, Wisconsin and never left. I’ve been married to my husband, Rick, for 18 years and we are living a life we never dreamed of or planned for. God erased our original hopes and dreams and gave us new ones, and we are grateful. We have six children, so life is a messy, loud, and busy adventure.

We are members at Christ the King Church, a four-year old church plant of CrossWay Community Church. We are located right in the heart of Kenosha, so there are many opportunities to make known the life-transforming power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to a diverse group of people.

How did you come to live in your neighborhood?

Several years ago my husband and I were convicted by a sermon preached out of John 17. In His High Priestly prayer, Jesus says, “As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.” We were convinced that as “sent ones” we needed to live intentionally as missionaries right where we were living and raising our family. We had not been doing that well.

We began to pray for our neighbors, but also for the city itself, and decided that at some point we would like to move to an actual neighborhood (we were on a private road with neighbors who wanted to be left alone). We began to intentionally spend time downtown, and God began to knit our hearts to the community and increase our desire to live, love, work, and be a gospel presence in a part of the city where a lot of people were hurting and considered outcasts.

In God’s providence, my husband lost his nice job at his family’s business and took several part-time jobs. As a delivery driver for a pizza place and an inspector of foreclosed homes, he spotted the house we currently live in quite by “accident”. Before we knew it, we were looking at the house and buying it with the knowledge that CrossWay would be planting a church in that general area. We literally moved in two weeks before the church leaders announced the location of the church. In God’s sovereignty, we ended up ten blocks from our church and in one of the more active, people-filled, materially poor neighborhoods in Kenosha!

What does neighborhood ministry look like for you? Can you describe a “typical” day for us?

We have an open door, open yard, open life policy every day. We invite people into our home, make lots of sandwiches, and pour lots of coffee. We spend a lot of time getting to know our neighbors, laughing and crying, sharing stories and parenting hardships, praying with people, and talking about Jesus and the Bible. We visit apartment buildings, porches, yards, and do a lot of living in our front yard like everyone else in our neighborhood does. We just do so with gospel intentionality.

There are a lot of children in our neighborhood so they play with my children. You will often see kids playing a game of catch or football, drawing with chalk on our driveway, sitting on the porch chattering away, or performing the occasional dance show. We host a Bible Club for children every summer, and this year we did what we called “Hotdogs and Hangout” once a week all summer long. We taught a Bible lesson, served hotdogs, and hung out with whoever showed up.

As we learn and grow, our ministry changes. Because a bridge has been built between the neighborhood and our church, we recently started a once-a-week gospel-centered mentoring ministry for children. Each week, mentors eat dinner with the children, play games, have a story time, and work on educational skills. We then teach a Bible lesson and break back up into discussion groups. This has become a vibrant church-wide effort. I’m filled with gratefulness and in awe of what God is doing.

You live in what our culture would probably label as an “undesirable” neighborhood. I know you’ve experienced some scary stuff on your own block, but you and your husband have chosen the Great Commission over safety and comfort. How have you been able to do that?

“For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” – Romans 14:8

Knowing who we belong to is a very comforting and compelling reason for us to stay on mission.

We believe the the gospel is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes. Jesus brought the good news of the gospel to the poor, oppressed, and disenfranchised. As his followers, we want to participate in His ongoing work.

Many people in our neighborhood are living in material poverty, drug and alcohol addiction, and mental illness. We see sin destroying those around us. They are dying in their sin–some literally though overdose or violence. The people in my neighborhood need more than food, fair housing, and clothes. They need good news, and they need to be set free. We have the words of life and know the One who can save them. God did not call us out of the kingdom of darkness we were living in to be comfortable and safe. He called us to be disciples who make disciples. As people who have tasted God’s goodness and grace, we want others to taste it.

I love the verse in the song “Glorious Christ” that says,“You left the air of heaven to breathe the dust of earth and dwell among the outcast and the poor.” This is where we want to dwell for His name’s sake. Just as Jesus came to dwell among us, someone needs dwell with them–truly growing to understand and share the good, the bad, and the ugly they face everyday. This is a very relational community. Coming in once a week or once a month like you’re a savior means nothing to them. We are convinced that the best way to bring the gospel to this particular community is to dwell with them.

The scary things we have experienced have only been used to get us to see the urgency of the task and shake us out of our slumber and complacency.

When a man you see everyday is shot and killed in broad day light, and you know his fiancé and children and experience the effect it has on them and your community, you say, “We have to open our mouths. We have to be the hands and feet of Jesus now and until we die.”

When you sit on the porch and see a car drive around the corner and you hear, “Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!” you don’t say, “Let’s blow this joint.” You cry and get angry right along with your neighbors and friends, and you stay woke!

Sisters, speak words of life to your neighbors. This world is broken. They need to know that there is a God waiting to rescue them.

I’ve seen pictures of neighborhood kids around your table. Do you have any practical tips for women who might feel intimidated by inviting the neighborhood into their homes?

When we moved in, our neighbors were highly suspicious of us. They would not speak to us, and sometimes the women would rush to their doors if my husband said hi. We decided to bake some cookies and muffins and go door to door giving them out. At first, nobody would open their door more than a sliver. But after that day, I got smiles, my husband got a hi back, and then all of the sudden doors were opening when we knocked. Kids were allowed to come over and play, and we became brave enough to invite our neighbors into our home a little at a time. Now we no longer have to invite anybody. They just show up!

Start by praying for your neighbors. Ask God to give you a desire to be hospitable. You’ll be amazed at how God will use these prayers to knit your heart to your neighborhood.

Then, just do something!

• Bring your neighbors some homemade goodies and tell them you just wanted to bless them today.
• Sit at your picnic table and invite a neighbor over for coffee.
• Plan a neighborhood cook-out. Keep it simple. Just pass out invitations and set out some food.

Start with the people right beside you. It doesn’t have to be the whole neighborhood!

Your church family has been great at partnering with you in sharing the gospel with your neighbors. How have they come alongside you, and how can we come alongside our own brothers and sisters as they seek to love their neighbors?

Ministering in our neighborhood has truly been a church effort. I have never done a Bible club alone! One summer, I had a sister come and walk the neighborhood with me praying several mornings a week. Our elders have prayed for us, encouraged us in the Word, and equipped us with resources and classes (see the question about resources for some great ones). I also had one dear friend from church come every week and help with Hotdogs and Hangout, which was a huge time commitment.

Our church opened up its doors for the gospel-centered mentoring ministry I mentioned earlier. We have nine adult and five youth volunteers serving every week by giving rides, teaching math and reading, leading a discipleship group time, teaching Bible lessons, cooking dinner, and telling fun stories to engage the children’s minds. They are investing their lives into this neighborhood for two hours or more each week. Some have even begun to visit families and engage the children outside of that time!

How can you come alongside your brothers and sisters in Christ engaged in neighborhood ministry?

• Pray with and for those who are engaging their neighbors intentionally.
• Go to a neighborhood cook-out that they are hosting and help with the food.
• If they invite neighbors to an event you’re at, make every effort to get to know them.
• Ask your friends how they are doing emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
• Consider giving them a break so they can recharge and refresh. Neighborhood ministry can be intense and extremely time-consuming. We have had brothers and sisters invite our children to spend time with their families so that our kids can take a break from our relationship-heavy lifestyle. We have even been gifted time away!

It takes a church, friends. Christians are known by their love for one another. Let your neighbors see that love!

You are closer to the black community than most white evangelicals—what would you like to say to your white brothers and sisters in Christ on the topic of racism? How we can do our part to promote racial reconciliation?

I fall so short in wrapping my head around this. My family and I are learners right now. We are learning to listen.

Brothers and sisters, please listen to the black community. Listen to your black brothers and sisters in Christ. Their life/American experience is very different from yours. You and I do not understand it–we just don’t.

Stop throwing around statistics and talking about the major improvement in society and in your church. You just sound like you’re making excuses.

Stop saying that racism is a thing of the past, because it isn’t. I’ve seen too much while sitting on my front porch or even sitting next to my black friends on their front porch. Racism is alive and well.

Make an effort to be friends with people in the black community. You’ll find that you care about the things your friends care about. You will actually weep and rejoice when they weep and rejoice because you are invested in each others lives and what affects them affects you. I’ve experienced firsthand how your heart and perspective changes when you actually get to know someone.

We can talk about racial reconciliation all we want, but until our dinner table changes, it doesn’t really matter. Honestly, this article says things way better than ever could.

If a black person comes into your predominately white church, do not assume they need something from you. I’ve heard too many stories that show how condescending we can be.

And please, please, stop saying that this is not a gospel issue. Racial reconciliation is a gospel issue. Through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the wall of hostility has been broken down. We need to live out the blood-bought unity we have in Christ. If we really want to see racial reconciliation in our churches, it is going to take us dying to ourselves, our preferences in worship, and our political agendas for the glory of God.

Are there any resources you’d recommend to us as we seek to love our neighbors?

“And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.’”

-Matthew 9:35-38

• The Bible – I can be tempted to simply meet the physical needs of those around me, but true life comes only through the word of God. I am learning to drink deeply myself so that I might give it boldly to others.
• Prayer – Pray earnestly. We are in a spiritual battle. We must be utterly dependent on the Spirit to move. He alone can change hearts.
• The Art of Neighboring -A Christian website with lots of helpful resources for neighborhood ministry.
• The Turquoise Picnic Table – Kristen Schell put a turquoise picnic table in her front yard in hopes of engaging more with the people around her. That small step of faith has turned into an entire movement of #frontyardliving. This video tells her story.
• Helping without Hurting – A FREE online study on mobilizing your church to engage in effective, non-harmful poverty alleviation
• Church in Hard Places: How the Local Church Brings Life to the Poor and Needy – A book by Mez McConnell and Mike McKinley that offers biblical guidelines and practical strategies for planting, revitalizing, and growing faithful churches in hard places
• Missional Motherhood – This book by Gloria Furman had a tremendous effect on my thinking and living as I saw my role in God’s unfolding story of redemption. I hope this tidbit from the book helps you to see your home and neighborhood a little differently than perhaps you do now…

“We, too, as ‘aliens and strangers’ in a world that is passing away, need to learn that our home is not our refuge. We nurture life in the face of death and leverage our homes for gospel work. For those whose hope is in the coming kingdom, our homes are less like retreats and more like a network of foxholes for planning and hosting kingdom advances into this present darkness. Our homes are centers of hospitality to show strangers and neighbors the light of Christ. And they are equipping centers for traveling ambassadors to help them on their way to doing the King’s business.”

– Gloria Furman, Missional Motherhood

• Children Desiring God Backyard Bible Club/Vacation Bible School Curriculum – I love this curriculum and have used it a few times.
  The Gospel Project – A chronological, Christ-centered bible study for kids, students, and adults that shows how the whole Bible points to Christ
• The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name – Every story in this children’s Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones centers on Jesus and God’s great salvation plan. A favorite in my neighborhood!
• The Garden, the Curtain, and the Cross – Another neighborhood read-aloud favorite!

“And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.’”

-Matthew 22:37-40

Is there anything else you’d like to say to our readers?

If anything, dear reader, I hope you are encouraged that God calls normal Christians “sent ones.” You are an ambassador. You are a peacemaker. You are a gospel-worker.

My husband and I are not professionals. We are not in full-time ministry. We are not seminary graduates. We work normal jobs in order to make ends meet. We are in the thick of parenting. We have piles of laundry like everybody else. We are just normal disciples who have been called–like you!–to proclaim all of God’s excellencies to those around us.

Our big, faithful, missionary God has called you to live on mission with him. It doesn’t take great giftedness or big programs. He will take your small and seemingly insignificant step of faith to make Jesus known to the person next door to you, and he will multiply it for your good and His glory.

Thanks, Jaz, for sharing your heart for Jesus and your neighbors! May God continue to do great things in downtown Kenosha.

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